Meeting people
How to meet people over dinner in NYC
By ToShareAMeal ·
Short answer
The reliable way to meet people over dinner in NYC is to join a table that already has a meal and a time attached, rather than trying to assemble one yourself. On ToShareAMeal you either plant a Meal Seed (a proposed meal at a named venue, or in a neighbourhood with the venue still to be chosen) or tap “+ Me too” on somebody else's — and the table happens once enough diners have taken a seat.
Why dinner plans usually stall
Most shared meals in New York never happen because of coordination, not interest. One person has to pick the place, poll everyone on dates, chase replies, and then feel responsible if the evening is flat. That job is unpaid and nobody wants it twice.
Removing the organiser is the single biggest change you can make. When a meal already has a date and a place — a named venue, or a neighbourhood with the venue still to be chosen — the only decision left for everyone else is yes or no.
Start from the meal, not the person
Choosing a restaurant is a much lower-stakes decision than choosing a person to meet. You are agreeing to hotpot on a Thursday, not to a friendship.
This is also why shared, communal dishes work so well for first meetings: the food gives the table something to do together in the first ten minutes.
- Pick a cuisine that is naturally shared — hotpot, dim sum, Korean BBQ, tapas, mezze.
- Prefer a concrete date and place over an open-ended “sometime soon”; a named venue fills faster than a to-be-chosen one.
- Keep the group small; three to six people can hold one conversation.
How it works on ToShareAMeal
A Meal Seed is a proposed meal: a named venue or a neighbourhood with the venue still to be chosen, a date, a rough time, and how many seats the table needs. Anyone can plant one, and planting one carries no extra cost and no host duties.
Other diners tap “+ Me too” to take a seat. There is no “maybe” state on purpose — a seat means you intend to come. When enough seats are taken for the table size you chose, the table becomes ready, and the group can coordinate the practical details.
If the date does not work for you, you can fork the meal: the same idea at a different time, without disturbing the original table.
What to expect on the night
You arrive as a diner among diners. Ordinary Meal Seeds have no permanent host/guest roles; nobody is entertaining, and the table agrees in advance how the bill will be handled — usually everyone pays their own share, settled directly at the restaurant.
Tables that fill are small by design. A group of four talks; a group of twelve splits into cliques and someone ends up alone at the end of the table.
Frequently asked questions
- Do I need to know anyone to join a dinner?
- No. Every table starts with people who have not met. You are choosing the meal, not an existing group.
- Do I have to organise anything if I plant a Meal Seed?
- No. Planting a seed proposes a table. You are a diner at it like everyone else, with no extra cost and no host duties.